Author: spaige08
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A Depressive’s Day Of Feeling Depressed… And What It Means…
Everyone has days where they feel sad, hopeless, empty. A day here and there when nothing seems to be going right. A day where getting out of bed is a struggle you don’t mind losing. The good news is most people, typical people, wake up the next morning and are…
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November 16th… How Far I’ve Come
It’s been a decade, 10 years, and still on this date every year I think about it, the day I admitted myself into the hospital for severe Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. Every year I would cry. The last few years, I got angry. None of the years did I listen…
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When Specific Dates Are Excessively Triggering
I’ve been a Depression sufferer for most of my life. Because of this, I tend to live in the past. At the moment I am coming up on certain months in my life that cause me guilt, anxiety, regret, and deep sadness… October 26th (2014): The day Tyler moved into…
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What I Want My Daughter To Know On Her 10th Birthday
My Baby Girl, Today you turn 10, a decade old. As I look at you, I see the baby face that I gave birth to and admire the preteen beauty you are now. I am not sure when it actually happened, when you got to this point that toys were…
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Awaiting My Emotional Aftermath…
I am sitting here nauseated. Stomach churning. Gurgling. Body repulsed and mimicking regurgitating motions when thinking of eating my breakfast. It is almost 11am and I have not eaten anything yet. I have been up since 6:40. I am anxious. Anxiety has been building in me since this past weekend…
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How Being Hospitalized Saved Me
I grew up with the stigma that you never wanted to be known as crazy. Keep it quiet. Don’t ever speak about it. It can affect your grades, your career, your relationships. Hush-hush, on the down low. I obeyed these commands for fear that because I was a diagnosed depressed…
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When You Know It’s Time…
It finally happened. It only took almost two years, but it finally happened. I am proud to announce… …I have tapered off Ativan!!! This little almost microscopic pill was in control of my life. Sure, I owe it some credit for saving me from body shaking, hyperventilating, heart-palpating anxiety. But……
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Birthplace
My 22 year struggle with diagnosed Depression started at 14 (although I believe I suffered earlier than that). Just barely a teenager, my family had moved from the only place I ever knew, the city of Brooklyn NY, to suburbia Western CT at the start of high school for me.…
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A Letter To My (Toddler) Daughter
While purging our house this weekend in preparation to move next summer I came across the following letter that I wrote on February 8th, 2008. My daughter was then only about 16 months old and it was in this letter that I realized my struggles with Postpartum Depression and Anxiety…
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When ‘Back-To-School’ Time Is ‘Back-To-Anxiety’ Time
That time of year is back. The time of year mothers around the country are breathing a sigh of relief as they see free time returning in their future. The time of year where we smile at the smell of paper and sharpened pencils. That time of year where we…
S. Paige Writes: 