Category: Uncategorized

  • Why I Climb…

    Why I Climb… I Climb for my daughter, my husband, my parents, and my in-laws. This was my support system in my darkest time. They were there when I wasn’t there mentally, emotionally or physically. They came to therapy and psychiatric appointments. They visited me in the hospital. They kept…

  • Are You Down With PPD (Yeah, You Know Me…)

    My daughter was born on a typical fall day.  Labor and Delivery, although somewhat long, was a great experience as were the first 2 weeks of her life.  I was the doting and glowing new mom.  I held her, cuddled with her, kissed her constantly.  I loved changing her stinky…

  • I Fed The Stigma

    Yesterday, I posted I was upset with being dependent on medication indefinitely.  I truly believed this statement until one of my good friends posted a response.  Then I realized I fed the stigma behind Mental Illness.  I was no better than the thousands that do not understand Mental Illness.  I…

  • Two Steps Forward… One Step Back…

    The last few days have been rough.  I once again tried to quit my anti anxiety medication, Ativan, cold turkey.  My psychiatrist said that would be okay since the dosage is not that high.  The Alpha and perfectionist in me hates to be dependent on pills.  3 nights I went…

  • Behavioral Crisis Center: An Excerpt

    As promised, here is an excerpt from my first manuscript of my 1st experience in the Behavioral Crisis Center.  Please note, all of this is truth.  It is a pretty scary place. “I was then taken not to the E.R. area like last time but beyond it to an area…

  • Floating Above…

    This poem was going to be published in Stigmama.com’s poetry slam this month but due to unforseen circumstances, the site and FB page have been taken down.  It is about my suffering during postpartum… How I was somewhat there conciously but couldn’t do a thing about it… I will publish…

  • Reflections of Mother’s Day

    Yesterday was Mother’s Day.  It was the first that should of included a little boy.  It was the 9th that has included my daughter.  Overall a great day, I could not stop thinking of Tyler.  Fostering a child is not an easy task.  A task that those who participate in…

  • Grieving The Loss Of…

    How do you recover when the person you grieve loss of is… You. In the beginning I grieved the loss of Tyler.  Many tears flowed because that little boy left my house.  They flowed for my loss of him.  They flowed for Jimmy and Sophia’s loss of him.  It was…

  • My Biggest Fear…

    May is Mental and Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month… expect a lot of posts from me… My Biggest Fear… I have suffered from this horrible mental illness, Depression, for majority of my life.  Twenty-one years out of the thirty-five years I have been on Earth.  That’s a lot.  Thinking about…

  • Physical Turmoil vs. Mental Turmoil

    Baltimore, MD.  A beautiful city that I’ve been to many times.  It is also the scene of mass chaos currently.  Void of all facts, I’ll summarize the essentials.  A 25 year old black man was violently killed by a white cop, snapping his spine.  A brawl ensues of black rights…