Physical Turmoil vs. Mental Turmoil

Baltimore, MD.  A beautiful city that I’ve been to many times.  It is also the scene of mass chaos currently.  Void of all facts, I’ll summarize the essentials.  A 25 year old black man was violently killed by a white cop, snapping his spine.  A brawl ensues of black rights vs. white rights which in my opinion has never been equal.  Thousands, mostly high school students, begin to terrorize the city.  Gangs join forces to eradicate law enforcement.  It seems so unreal.  Baltimore is declared a state of emergency.

This physical battle is not unlike the ones I’ve had in my head.  Old self battling new self for eternal reign.  Guilt beating up good.  Shame throwing rocks at happiness. Unlike those in Baltimore, I do not act this out physically.  This war is played out in my brain.

When does it crossover?  When do our negative thoughts urge us to become physical?

Battling Postpartum Depression and with this most recent bout, I’ve had thoughts of physically hurting MYSELF.  Never did I want to hurt another, but I know people who have.

It’s amazing how our brains work.  One minute we look at the world with love and the next we look at our friends with hate.  Like the flick of a switch.  We turn on those that keep us safe.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the beautiful city of Baltimore.  I hope that these physical turmoils end as quickly as they manifested.

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