Category: depression
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Lamenting Silverbelle
It all seemed to happen so quickly. I knew something wasn’t right with you. First it just seemed like you were coughing up fur balls. Typical for a feline who constantly cleaned herself. Then something changed. The vomiting occurred every time you ate and for the most part lacked fur.…
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A Letter To My Former Foster Son As You Turn 5
My Sweet Little Boy, I can hardly believe it has been a little over two years since you left our home. I can still remember your toddler-self walking in circles around the house. I can still hear your voice so vividly as I would come down the stairs in the morning,…
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What My Daughter Knows
My daughter knows I hated her just two weeks after she was born. Pure hatred, where using the actual word ‘hate’ is valid and not taboo. She knows I wanted to leave her and never ever see her again. She knows I wanted to turn back time and never have…
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Mommy’s Sick… Does Anyone Care?!
A few days ago I stayed home sick. No, I didn’t actually have a fever, but my nose was constantly draining as if someone forgot to turn the shower off and my body was achy everywhere. I was involuntarily stretching because of these aches and knew that I would accomplish…
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I’ve Always Wanted To Be An Architect… And Other Shit
I remember my first Lego set. I was six and my family had just gotten back to my Aunt & Uncle’s house from the mall. I am not sure why I wanted this set so badly, but I begged, I pleaded, and now it was lying on the floor of…
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A Depressive’s Day Of Feeling Depressed… And What It Means…
Everyone has days where they feel sad, hopeless, empty. A day here and there when nothing seems to be going right. A day where getting out of bed is a struggle you don’t mind losing. The good news is most people, typical people, wake up the next morning and are…
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November 16th… How Far I’ve Come
It’s been a decade, 10 years, and still on this date every year I think about it, the day I admitted myself into the hospital for severe Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. Every year I would cry. The last few years, I got angry. None of the years did I listen…
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When Specific Dates Are Excessively Triggering
I’ve been a Depression sufferer for most of my life. Because of this, I tend to live in the past. At the moment I am coming up on certain months in my life that cause me guilt, anxiety, regret, and deep sadness… October 26th (2014): The day Tyler moved into…
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Awaiting My Emotional Aftermath…
I am sitting here nauseated. Stomach churning. Gurgling. Body repulsed and mimicking regurgitating motions when thinking of eating my breakfast. It is almost 11am and I have not eaten anything yet. I have been up since 6:40. I am anxious. Anxiety has been building in me since this past weekend…
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How Being Hospitalized Saved Me
I grew up with the stigma that you never wanted to be known as crazy. Keep it quiet. Don’t ever speak about it. It can affect your grades, your career, your relationships. Hush-hush, on the down low. I obeyed these commands for fear that because I was a diagnosed depressed…
S. Paige Writes: 