Category: postpartum
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When You Learn How Important Self-Advocacy Is
In the last twenty years, off and on, with my frenemies, Anxiety & Depression, I have learned quite a bit about living a life with Mental Illness. My first twelve years were in secret, keeping my mouth shut on anything relating to the words melancholy, empty, sad. I was told…
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When I Learned To Accept My Depression Diagnosis
I am not a woman who hides her age. I will admit it, I am 37. I don’t look it and that is probably why I will fully cop to my actual age. I have a young (very young) face and I am short (incredibly short). Throw these two traits…
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A Letter To My Former Foster Son As You Turn 5
My Sweet Little Boy, I can hardly believe it has been a little over two years since you left our home. I can still remember your toddler-self walking in circles around the house. I can still hear your voice so vividly as I would come down the stairs in the morning,…
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I Support: My Response To Recent Events
I didn’t know what ‘white privilege’ was until I attended the Warrior Mom Conference in Boston, MA in July of 2015. I have been living in a suburban bubble for the last twenty plus years. Before that I grew up in the melting pot that is New York City. I…
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What My Daughter Knows
My daughter knows I hated her just two weeks after she was born. Pure hatred, where using the actual word ‘hate’ is valid and not taboo. She knows I wanted to leave her and never ever see her again. She knows I wanted to turn back time and never have…
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Mommy’s Sick… Does Anyone Care?!
A few days ago I stayed home sick. No, I didn’t actually have a fever, but my nose was constantly draining as if someone forgot to turn the shower off and my body was achy everywhere. I was involuntarily stretching because of these aches and knew that I would accomplish…
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I’ve Always Wanted To Be An Architect… And Other Shit
I remember my first Lego set. I was six and my family had just gotten back to my Aunt & Uncle’s house from the mall. I am not sure why I wanted this set so badly, but I begged, I pleaded, and now it was lying on the floor of…
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November 16th… How Far I’ve Come
It’s been a decade, 10 years, and still on this date every year I think about it, the day I admitted myself into the hospital for severe Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. Every year I would cry. The last few years, I got angry. None of the years did I listen…
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When Specific Dates Are Excessively Triggering
I’ve been a Depression sufferer for most of my life. Because of this, I tend to live in the past. At the moment I am coming up on certain months in my life that cause me guilt, anxiety, regret, and deep sadness… October 26th (2014): The day Tyler moved into…
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How Being Hospitalized Saved Me
I grew up with the stigma that you never wanted to be known as crazy. Keep it quiet. Don’t ever speak about it. It can affect your grades, your career, your relationships. Hush-hush, on the down low. I obeyed these commands for fear that because I was a diagnosed depressed…
S. Paige Writes: 