Category: Uncategorized

  • My “Attachment” Disorder…

    I have had the same therapist for years… over a decade.  He has seen many other of my family members and it was only natural for me to start seeing him.  For years he has been promoting exercise as an antidepressant.  I do not disagree with him and within a…

  • I Died…

    I started dying about a year ago today.  Driving up to a strange house.  Getting out of the car and walking up to the front door.  I rang the bell and was greeted by an older woman.  We made introductions and I entered the house.  There you were, sitting in…

  • Depression Feels Like…

    This comes from a friend of mine who is also in the throws of Depression.  I think she described Depression perfectly.  This is how I feel right now and the last few days: “Depression feels like a dementor is always following me around.” **********For those that have not watched or…

  • I Cried… Long, Hard, Delusional, Anxiety, Depression Cried…

    I should be writing my book.  I had absolutely nothing planned for this weekend except for book writing.  It’s just awful that my brain had other plans… My brain is acting out the Civil War in my head with the South being my Depression and Anxiety and the North being…

  • “Cough, Cough, Cough…”

    “Cough, Cough, Cough…”by: Stephanie Paige Cough, cough, cough… Dirty blonde hair, oceanic blue eyesMy baby girl, almost a young lady,Soft cheeks, kissing forehead,Not letting you know what is on fuse in my mind… Cough, cough, cough… Face changing, suddenly smallerOne dimpled cheek, curious deep sienna eyes,Soft cheeks, kissing forehead,Remembering a…

  • Calming Down…

    I feel the anxiety rising.  My shoulders are stuck in an upward position.  My lower back is aching.  My mind has constant thoughts ping-ponging from side-to-side.  My breathing becomes rapid with me needing to take several deep breaths to get enough air.  I become confused, puzzled, agitated.  What to do? …

  • Questioning My Parenting…

    This past week I was on vacation.  A nice time to sit back and relax and take in the fresh air of upstate New York.  I went hiking observing frogs and blue waters so clear it was like looking into my daughter’s eyes.  We went to Niagara Falls participating in…

  • What I Hope To Pass On To My Daughter…

    When I was pregnant, I had all these visions in my head of what my future child would look like.  I wondered if my baby would be a boy or a girl.  I wondered if he or she would have dark hair like my husband and I, blue eyes or…

  • Why Me? A Blessing In Disguise…

    I never asked to be ill.  I’m sure no one jumps up and down begging, “Pick me, I want cancer!”  I don’t see anyone paying to contract AIDS.  I also can’t picture anyone smiling when told they have the “gift” of Multiple Sclerosis.  Believe me, I was not crying tears…

  • What Mental Illness Truly Looks Like…

    “Here’s Johnny!” “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” Growing up we all had this view of what the “Mentally Ill” looked like usually from a portrayal in the media.  Instantly the first vision that comes to my mind when I think “Mentally Ill” is Jack Nicholson in The Shining saying “Here’s Johnny!”. …