I am not one to hide my age. I turned 44 this past February and since then I have learned to accept certain things beyond my control. I am not the same person I was in my 20s, nor my 30s (thank God!). But with the increasing age, my body has basically said:

“Fuck this shit. You’re just going to have to live with what I throw at you!”

When I decided my blog needed a little updating due to things being different in my 40s, I changed the byline to read: Rediscovering Myself at Middle Age. Ah, middle age. If this is really middle age, then my projected death would be my late 80s. Still above the average life expectancy of women in the good ole’ US of A. And boy, am I discovering a lot!

I had started the year in a funk. I hated my body. I had an ever expanding muffin top, fat in new places, and a horrible mindset to go with it. You know what? I still have the first two. At the time, due to my work schedule, I wasn’t exercising (huge mistake on both my physical & mental health) and really wasn’t watching what I was eating because I traveled a lot and so because of all of this, I downright hated myself. My middle age funk was turning into a depressive episode. I really didn’t need another one of those!

I found a new therapist. Most recently, I got laid off about a month ago (more to come on that). Because I was laid off, I began to exercise and track my personal diet on MyFitnessPal again. I have been exercising an average of five times a week for 45 minutes or more riding a stationary bike because of my foot pain (again, more to come on that) and while I feel really good about myself, the scale has told me otherwise.

Fuck middle age perimenopausal metabolism (or lack there of)!

At this point I accepted that this was to be my figure for the time being.

Then, I had to get an outfit for my daughter’s upcoming high school graduation. The dresses I tried on just enhanced the wrong curves. Several dress pants showed off my love handles and pooch. It was not a pretty sight. While my husband and daughter say I am shaped fine, I just could not agree. I was not ready to see my undesirable curves in graduation photos.

So, what did I do?

I bought my first pair of Granny Panties!

And you know what? These suckers are fantastic! How the heck did I live without them before?! While they don’t slim me down to a size 2, they smooth my love handles and muffin top! I am not embarressed at all that they are now a staple in my wardrobe. In fact, I want to throw out every other pair of underwear and buy more Granny Panties!

Major props to Granny Panties! You have given me the confidence to accept my figure just the way it is!