Less Of A Mother

I am a blessed mother of one, an only child.  She’s growing into such a young lady.  Sophia is kind, loving, strong willed and stubborn (like her mom). She’s also amazingly talented in the arts (my lefty!). 

And at 5 she was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  So yes, my beautiful daughter has issues.  She is emotional, a huge worrier that tends to turn everything into a catastrophe.  There are times her anxieties will last 5 minutes and times they have lasted over an hour.

I am a mother to an only child, an only child with issues and still I feel like less of a mother than those who have more than one.  I feel I have no right to give any parenting advice even if it is about raising a girl or raising a child with anxiety.

I feel like less of a mom.  I tried mothering 2 and my mind and body broke down.  They told me I can only physically mother 1.  As I suffer with this bout of Depression and Anxiety I can’t help but to beat myself up even more.  I’m less of a mother because I only have 1 child.

Am I though?  So I don’t have a sibling for my daughter.  She’s still not a stereotypical only child.  She’s a great kid.  She’s a great student excelling in reading and writing.  She’s nice to all her classmates.  She’s empathetic to others emotions.  She’s a great kid that has issues.

And yet that nagging negative Stephanie, the one that suffers from Depression and Anxiety still feels like less of a mom.  Maybe it’s because I always imagined I’d  have more kids and because my body broke down trying to mother 2, I am less of a mom. 

Maybe that actually makes me a stronger mother.  My body told me I couldn’t do it and I listened after trying too hard. 

Being a mom to an only is simple to most.  I constantly hear the following:

“Well you only have one, how hard could it be?!”

“There’s two of you (parents) to one child, that’s so much easier”

“You have no idea the battles we have with our kids” (To this I usually add, I  may only have 1 BUT I am 1 of 3)

“You probably have so much money because you only have one child.”

Hearing these aids in making me feel like I’m less of a mother, especially as I battle Depression and Anxiety again.  It will take quite some time and therapy for me to not feel like “Less Of A Mom.”

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