I tried to hold my tears back as I stared into my daughter’s oceanic blue eyes. I could feel them welling up, feel the moisture increasing. Not here, not now, not in public, Stephanie. But, to be cliché, the dam was about to break. A tear or two escaped. My daughter was concerned and relayed … [Read more…]
There were brief moments, tiny myopic moments, seconds that I could see my reality. In these moments of lucidity, I became scared. I was frightened at what I was becoming and how fast my body and brain were transforming. Fortunately (or unfortunately) these moments of clarity were scarce because my body was failing me so … [Read more…]
My daughter has seen me. She has seen me throughout her eleven years of life. She has seen me lose touch with reality several times, seen me cry uncontrollably many times, seen me at a handful of Psychiatric and Therapy appointments. She has even seen me become hospitalized. Throughout all of this, she has stood … [Read more…]
Every Thanksgiving I awaken with a huge grin on my face because I know that somewhere outside in my driveway is the large roll of Black Friday ads. I love looking at them. I dive in each year looking at items I would love to receive for the holidays noting a few to put on … [Read more…]
In the last twenty years, off and on, with my frenemies, Anxiety & Depression, I have learned quite a bit about living a life with Mental Illness. My first twelve years were in secret, keeping my mouth shut on anything relating to the words melancholy, empty, sad. I was told to hide, told that the … [Read more…]
Crowds of kids gathered with their parents at the bus stop snapping photos of their elated children. Some even took video. I stood with my daughter giving a hug and kiss on her cheek. I did this as support, support she didn’t ask for. Why? Because today was the 1st Day of School, the first … [Read more…]
Suddenly, I was back there. That place, both a saving grace and a hell. I was walking down the hall. Bare concrete block walls. Gray, solemn, just like the people that dwelled inside. Doorways on both sides leading to rooms with aging office waiting room furniture that was once comfortable but now forlorn like their … [Read more…]
But we live in a society that believes Mental Illness is not on the same level as a Physical Illness.
My daughter is a bright, caring, empathetic, preteen girl. Most days she has a smile on her face that melts her mom’s heart. She is typical preteen, mostly caring about binge-watching shows on Netflix or catching up on her friend’s latest YouTube videos featuring her fave, Beanie Boos. She does well in school, is friendly … [Read more…]
I remember my first Lego set. I was six and my family had just gotten back to my Aunt & Uncle’s house from the mall. I am not sure why I wanted this set so badly, but I begged, I pleaded, and now it was lying on the floor of the bedroom I was sitting in. … [Read more…]
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