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Rising From The Ashes: My 20+ Years With Mental Illness

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Rising From The Ashes: My 20+ Years With Mental Illness

anxiety

When ‘Back-To-School’ Time Is ‘Back-To-Anxiety’ Time

August 30, 2016 by spaige08 1 Comment

That time of year is back.  The time of year mothers around the country are breathing a sigh of relief as they see free time returning in their future.  The time of year where we smile at the smell of paper and sharpened pencils.  That time of year where we stock up on crayons, scissors … [Read more…]

Posted in: anxiety Tagged: anxiety, back to school, mental health, mental illness

How My ‘Sleep Divorce’ Has Kept My Marriage Strong

August 25, 2016 by spaige08 3 Comments

I don’t sleep with my husband.   We have tried for a few years to survive in the same bed at night to no avail.  We just can’t make that part of our relationship work.  We have what now seems to be termed a “Sleep Divorce”.  In fact, aside from separate beds, we have separate … [Read more…]

Posted in: anxiety, depression, marriage Tagged: anxiety, depression, marriage, mental health, sleep, sleep divorce

“I Hate You, Mommy!”

August 19, 2016 by spaige08 Leave a Comment

​I would have to say it was around age three when Sophia first yelled at me that she hated me.  Being so young, she had not learned just how hurtful the word “hate” could be.  I know a lot of women who have gotten upset, practically in tears, when their young toddler spews forth, “I … [Read more…]

Posted in: anxiety, depression, postpartum Tagged: anxiety, depression, hate, mental illness, PPA, PPD

Finding My Purpose In Life…

August 10, 2016 by spaige08 1 Comment

For as long as I could remember, I always wanted to be a mother.  I was drawn to my friends’ younger siblings.  I loved to coo at babies I saw.  I even transformed the bottom of my tiny closet into a “crib” for my two baby dolls.  I couldn’t wait to feel that love, a … [Read more…]

Posted in: Advocacy, anxiety, depression Tagged: advocacy, anxiety, depression, mental health, mental illness

I Had A Son…

August 4, 2016 by spaige08 Leave a Comment

I had a son. When I met him, he was barely 2 1/2 years old with an adjusted age of about eighteen months.  All I saw were his deep dark sienna eyes and his messy brown-black hair. I had a son. He was all mine from the first day I saw him anxious to give … [Read more…]

Posted in: anxiety, depression Tagged: anxiety, depression, foster mom, mental health

“When Will You Be Done?!”

July 29, 2016 by spaige08 1 Comment

I’m sitting in silence rocking slightly back and forth.  I’ve been threatened and my survival instincts are kicking in.  Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide.  I am stuck… in my cubicle at work.  My stomach is repulsed by food and if I didn’t force myself not to, I would vomit anything that was in it. … [Read more…]

Posted in: anxiety, depression Tagged: anxiety, depression, mental health, mental illness, PTSD

“Yes, Sure, You Were ‘Sick’!”

July 15, 2016 by spaige08 Leave a Comment

I’ve heard this so many times.  I am not coughing.  I am not sneezing.  I am not complaining of chills.  I am not home ‘sick’ in the term that I have the flu and need to be in bed.  I would not spread my illness if I came into work.  I would not pass germs … [Read more…]

Posted in: anxiety, depression, stigma Tagged: anxiety, depression, mental health, mental illness, stigma

When July 4th Isn’t a Holiday Anymore…

July 5, 2016 by spaige08 Leave a Comment

Fireworks enchant me.  The brilliant colors of light that blast in the night sky, not knowing exactly which direction they will burst, what beautiful hues will show, and exactly how loud they will be.  I was always mesmerized by them.  A beautiful man made project dancing with physics come together cohesively to create these sky … [Read more…]

Posted in: anxiety Tagged: anxiety, generalized anxiety disorder, mental health, mental illness

Why I Am Going To Stop Body Shaming

July 1, 2016 by spaige08 4 Comments

For as long as I can remember, the words “Fat Free” were a part of my everyday vocabulary.  I am not sure when the switch to fat free milk was made in my house but I don’t remember any other kind as a child.  It was in my elementary school years where cookies became bad, … [Read more…]

Posted in: anxiety, Body shaming, depression, weight Tagged: anxiety, Body shaming, depression, medications, mental health, mental illness, weight

I Am An Empath…

June 17, 2016 by spaige08 Leave a Comment

When I close my eyes, I am being pulled deep underwater, my leg in the clenches of an alligator’s tightly gripped mouth.  I am screaming, wailing, crying for help, clueless of what is going on.  I am waiting to be saved by my Mommy and Daddy, waiting to see their faces and feel their warm embrace.  … [Read more…]

Posted in: Uncategorized Tagged: anxiety, depression, empath, mental health, mental illness
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