My “Attachment” Disorder…

I have had the same therapist for years… over a decade.  He has seen many other of my family members and it was only natural for me to start seeing him.  For years he has been promoting exercise as an antidepressant.  I do not disagree with him and within a couple of years of him … [Read more…]

I Died…

I started dying about a year ago today.  Driving up to a strange house.  Getting out of the car and walking up to the front door.  I rang the bell and was greeted by an older woman.  We made introductions and I entered the house.  There you were, sitting in a high chair with eyes darting … [Read more…]

Depression Feels Like…

This comes from a friend of mine who is also in the throws of Depression.  I think she described Depression perfectly.  This is how I feel right now and the last few days: “Depression feels like a dementor is always following me around.” **********For those that have not watched or read the Harry Potter Series, … [Read more…]

“Cough, Cough, Cough…”

“Cough, Cough, Cough…”by: Stephanie Paige Cough, cough, cough… Dirty blonde hair, oceanic blue eyesMy baby girl, almost a young lady,Soft cheeks, kissing forehead,Not letting you know what is on fuse in my mind… Cough, cough, cough… Face changing, suddenly smallerOne dimpled cheek, curious deep sienna eyes,Soft cheeks, kissing forehead,Remembering a failing time… Cough, cough, cough… … [Read more…]

Calming Down…

I feel the anxiety rising.  My shoulders are stuck in an upward position.  My lower back is aching.  My mind has constant thoughts ping-ponging from side-to-side.  My breathing becomes rapid with me needing to take several deep breaths to get enough air.  I become confused, puzzled, agitated.  What to do?  I always have my Ativan … [Read more…]

Questioning My Parenting…

This past week I was on vacation.  A nice time to sit back and relax and take in the fresh air of upstate New York.  I went hiking observing frogs and blue waters so clear it was like looking into my daughter’s eyes.  We went to Niagara Falls participating in both Cave of the Winds … [Read more…]

Why Me? A Blessing In Disguise…

I never asked to be ill.  I’m sure no one jumps up and down begging, “Pick me, I want cancer!”  I don’t see anyone paying to contract AIDS.  I also can’t picture anyone smiling when told they have the “gift” of Multiple Sclerosis.  Believe me, I was not crying tears of joy at getting my … [Read more…]

What Mental Illness Truly Looks Like…

“Here’s Johnny!” “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” Growing up we all had this view of what the “Mentally Ill” looked like usually from a portrayal in the media.  Instantly the first vision that comes to my mind when I think “Mentally Ill” is Jack Nicholson in The Shining saying “Here’s Johnny!”.  My next vision is him … [Read more…]