Living in Hell

Places that felt safe to me before don’t.  I don’t feel safe at home.  I hate that my husband has to see me like this again and that Sophia is old enough to know Mommy is not well and is blaming herself.  Sleep used to be an escape until the anxiety kicked in.  I’m having a really hard time trying to keep up with my daily routine when I feel I’d be better off if I were hospitalized.  Does mental illness count as a short term disability?  I really don’t know how much longer I can live like this without more attention.  It’s so hard to play with medicinal doses when you have to go to work.  I’m so confused.

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