Letting Go…

New Year’s Eve… A time of reflection of the year that is about to end and the time to make promises or resolutions to the year about to start.  What do you see when you stand and look in the mirror?  The reflection of yourself?  Is it a positive or negative reflection?  As I stood … [Read more…]

Happy Holidays…

I’ve seen countless articles this week discussing grieving during the holidays, depression during the holidays… What should be a happy time of year, for me, is something I wish I could sleep through.  I know, how could I say that?!  I have a child who still believes in Santa.  Heck, she believes that Stella the … [Read more…]

An Open Letter To My In-Laws…

Dear Parents I Married Into, I have been a part of your life for almost 20 years now, meeting your son when we were just teenagers working our first jobs.  Over 11 years ago, we married.  I have always taken my vows seriously and have seen your son go through several outpatient surgeries and his … [Read more…]

The Room Of Requirement (Part 1)…

I’ve recently started a new form of therapy switching from my years of CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) to EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy.  This is a whole new ballgame.  Where CBT would try to train me to constantly think positively about myself by saying positive things into a mirror, EMDR is actually tricking … [Read more…]

Delusional…

Imagine lying in bed at night… your eyes, although they feel slightly heavy, are wide open.  Your brain is unable to put itself into sleep mode.  Your building up frustration as this is the 4th… no maybe 5th night you can’t fall asleep.  Tears are now falling down your cheeks because all you want to … [Read more…]

Grateful…

As the Thanksgiving holiday passes and we all take time to think about what we are grateful for, who we are grateful for, I am reminded that being grateful has a whole other meaning when talking with anyone who has a Mental Illness. Sure, I am extremely grateful for my beautiful, caring, intelligent daughter.  I … [Read more…]

The Death Of Evan William…

A little boy around age 5… straight medium brown hair bordering on chestnut in color.  Wide blue eyes eager to learn.  When he smiles, you can see dimples in both cheeks, rosy in color as he plays with leaves on a brisk autumn day.  He’s wearing blue jeans with a red and black plaid shirt … [Read more…]

Hitting A Wall…

It’s Wednesday.  I’m back at work following a whirlwind business trip that had me awake at 6am on Monday and back at home by 4pm Tuesday.  There were flights, driving, appointments all in the midst of those 36 hours that right now seems like a bowl of mush sloshing around in my head.  I can … [Read more…]

I’m Trapped…

Five days a week I am good.  Some of those days are better than others, some worse.  All of them end poorly, they end at my house.  My house, a place that use to provide safety and comfort, is now a place I hate being in.  It is a place where my Anxiety hangs out, … [Read more…]