The Break…

My breathing labored, I can see my fists clenched, the muscles so tense, it’s coming.  I knew it was coming the night before, but I had to go into work, I had important things that needed to be done, I had a deadline.  Yet, here I was, sitting in my cubicle, completely breaking down, shedding … [Read more…]

The Summer Breeze…

This past weekend I attended a Mental Health First Aid course and am proud to say I am now certified.  We were deeply educated in the topic of Suicide and Self-Injury as that was one of the most cautious illnesses to deal with.  During the focus on suicide, several things started to swirl into my … [Read more…]

My Husband…

20 years ago, two teenagers met at their first jobs.  We were young and naïve, carefree.  He was the quiet, shy boy, with a mysterious air about him.  He rarely ever spoke but somehow worked himself into our small little click at Bradlees, a group of us coworkers who thought we were awesomely cool by … [Read more…]

Anxiety & Ear Plugs…

Sleep… I used to be a great sleeper as a kid.  I slept through a tremor in the early 80s and napped through the high winds of Hurricane Gloria.  Heavy sleep was a blessing bestowed on to me back then.  I should’ve treasured it.  Instead, back then, I was a typical kid and hated to … [Read more…]

“Never Will I Ever…”

As a childless twenty-something year old, I thought I had the answers to everything relating to parenting.  I knew exactly what I would do.  My baby would sleep in 3-4 hour intervals.  I would breastfeed for the first year.  They will never have a pacifier. They would never eat a diet that consisted of chicken … [Read more…]

EMDR, PPD & Self Compassion…

Every Monday I have my therapy appointment.  This is for my new therapy that I started a few months ago, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).  If I tried to explain the exact technique, I think I would confuse you further.  What I can say, is that it is hard.  It was extremely hard in … [Read more…]

“#MeditateOnThis…”

“Hormonal changes during and after pregnancy are NORMAL. Mood changes are NORMAL. Meditation helps. Prayer helps. Nutritional support helps. Love helps.” – Marianne Williamson Marianne Williamson, author and spiritual leader, caused quite a commotion last week in the Postpartum Community.  I, honestly, was oblivious to this until I read a Facebook post from Postpartum Progress’ … [Read more…]

Hope…

Last night I had a dream.  This dreams stands out to me because ever since starting Lunesta more than a month ago, I haven’t been able to recall any of my dreams the following morning.  I sleep and I sleep deeply.  But last night was different.  As I slept deeply, my mind wandered and delved … [Read more…]

Baby Envy…

scroll, scroll, scroll… “Aw, what an adorable newborn baby.  Love the name.  Just want to pinch those cheeks and cuddle with it.” scroll, scroll, scroll… “Look, so-and-so is pregnant!  Awesome!  Congrats on baby #3!” scroll, scroll, scroll… Everyday.  Everyday I scroll through hundreds of posts and see an abundant amount of my friends getting pregnant with their … [Read more…]

Mortality…

I’ve always seen my parents as these immortal beings even though logically I know everyone is dying from the day they are born.  Somehow I never related death to them.  Daily, I read the Obituaries in the paper, lingering on those who are my parents age slightly longer.  “My parents are still alive.  They are … [Read more…]