Sophia Scared…

At age six, I brought my daughter in to her Pediatrician for her yearly physical.  This was not the first year that the doctors questioned me about her hysterics when they would get within two feet from her.  I kept telling myself, that is normal child behavior, most kids are scared of the doctor.  Age … [Read more…]

Second Chances…

Last night I had a dream. It started with myself interviewing for some new job in Manhattan.  I was dressed up in a flowy top with black dress pants and black shoes.  I was like a child who has come to NYC for the first time and in such awe with the size of the … [Read more…]

Hello God, It’s Me, Stephanie…

I am by no means a religious person.  I grew up in a very reformed Jewish household where we exchanged presents for Hanukkah but aside from that, there was very little else we did.  At one point, I did want to extend my Hebrew learning and attended 1 year of Hebrew School where I did … [Read more…]

Happy 4th Birthday My Little Boy!

Baby Boy, Today you turn 4.  You have been out of our house for over a year now.  It’s been over a year since I saw your smile with your dimples.  It’s been over year since I heard your toddler voice say, “It’s a Mommy!” when you saw me come down the stairs in the … [Read more…]

The Break…

My breathing labored, I can see my fists clenched, the muscles so tense, it’s coming.  I knew it was coming the night before, but I had to go into work, I had important things that needed to be done, I had a deadline.  Yet, here I was, sitting in my cubicle, completely breaking down, shedding … [Read more…]

The Summer Breeze…

This past weekend I attended a Mental Health First Aid course and am proud to say I am now certified.  We were deeply educated in the topic of Suicide and Self-Injury as that was one of the most cautious illnesses to deal with.  During the focus on suicide, several things started to swirl into my … [Read more…]

My Husband…

20 years ago, two teenagers met at their first jobs.  We were young and na├»ve, carefree.  He was the quiet, shy boy, with a mysterious air about him.  He rarely ever spoke but somehow worked himself into our small little click at Bradlees, a group of us coworkers who thought we were awesomely cool by … [Read more…]

Anxiety & Ear Plugs…

Sleep… I used to be a great sleeper as a kid.  I slept through a tremor in the early 80s and napped through the high winds of Hurricane Gloria.  Heavy sleep was a blessing bestowed on to me back then.  I should’ve treasured it.  Instead, back then, I was a typical kid and hated to … [Read more…]

“Never Will I Ever…”

As a childless twenty-something year old, I thought I had the answers to everything relating to parenting.  I knew exactly what I would do.  My baby would sleep in 3-4 hour intervals.  I would breastfeed for the first year.  They will never have a pacifier. They would never eat a diet that consisted of chicken … [Read more…]

EMDR, PPD & Self Compassion…

Every Monday I have my therapy appointment.  This is for my new therapy that I started a few months ago, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).  If I tried to explain the exact technique, I think I would confuse you further.  What I can say, is that it is hard.  It was extremely hard in … [Read more…]