My daughter is a bright, caring, empathetic, preteen girl. Most days she has a smile on her face that melts her mom’s heart. She is typical preteen, mostly caring about binge-watching shows on Netflix or catching up on her friend’s latest YouTube videos featuring her fave, Beanie Boos. She does well in school, is friendly … [Read more…]
My Sweet Little Boy, I can hardly believe it has been a little over two years since you left our home. I can still remember your toddler-self walking in circles around the house. I can still hear your voice so vividly as I would come down the stairs in the morning, you pointing at me, … [Read more…]
My daughter knows I hated her just two weeks after she was born. Pure hatred, where using the actual word ‘hate’ is valid and not taboo. She knows I wanted to leave her and never ever see her again. She knows I wanted to turn back time and never have her, completely obliterate her existence. … [Read more…]
A few days ago I stayed home sick. No, I didn’t actually have a fever, but my nose was constantly draining as if someone forgot to turn the shower off and my body was achy everywhere. I was involuntarily stretching because of these aches and knew that I would accomplish nothing, zero, zilch, nada at … [Read more…]
I remember my first Lego set. I was six and my family had just gotten back to my Aunt & Uncle’s house from the mall. I am not sure why I wanted this set so badly, but I begged, I pleaded, and now it was lying on the floor of the bedroom I was sitting in. … [Read more…]
Everyone has days where they feel sad, hopeless, empty. A day here and there when nothing seems to be going right. A day where getting out of bed is a struggle you don’t mind losing. The good news is most people, typical people, wake up the next morning and are ready to take on the … [Read more…]
It’s been a decade, 10 years, and still on this date every year I think about it, the day I admitted myself into the hospital for severe Postpartum Depression and Anxiety. Every year I would cry. The last few years, I got angry. None of the years did I listen to my therapists (last and … [Read more…]
I’ve been a Depression sufferer for most of my life. Because of this, I tend to live in the past. At the moment I am coming up on certain months in my life that cause me guilt, anxiety, regret, and deep sadness… October 26th (2014): The day Tyler moved into our house October 31st (2015): … [Read more…]
I am sitting here nauseated. Stomach churning. Gurgling. Body repulsed and mimicking regurgitating motions when thinking of eating my breakfast. It is almost 11am and I have not eaten anything yet. I have been up since 6:40. I am anxious. Anxiety has been building in me since this past weekend started. There is so … [Read more…]
I grew up with the stigma that you never wanted to be known as crazy. Keep it quiet. Don’t ever speak about it. It can affect your grades, your career, your relationships. Hush-hush, on the down low. I obeyed these commands for fear that because I was a diagnosed depressed person, I would only be … [Read more…]
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