Author: spaige08
What Happens When A Dream Turns Into A Triggering Nightmare

Suddenly, I was back there. That place, both a saving grace and a hell. I was walking down the hall. Bare concrete block walls. Gray, solemn, just like the people that dwelled inside. Doorways on both sides leading to rooms with aging office waiting room furniture that was once comfortable but now forlorn like their … [Read more…]
Hi, My Name Is Not “Sophia’s Mom”

I was not given the name “Sophia’s Mom” at birth. How would my parents know all those years ago that I would go on to have a beautiful daughter and name her Sophia. I am sure they had hopes and dreams for grandchildren, but exact details as the sex and name of the child could … [Read more…]
When I Learned To Accept My Depression Diagnosis

I am not a woman who hides her age. I will admit it, I am 37. I don’t look it and that is probably why I will fully cop to my actual age. I have a young (very young) face and I am short (incredibly short). Throw these two traits together and I might as … [Read more…]
Struggling To Help My Daughter…

My daughter is a bright, caring, empathetic, preteen girl. Most days she has a smile on her face that melts her mom’s heart. She is typical preteen, mostly caring about binge-watching shows on Netflix or catching up on her friend’s latest YouTube videos featuring her fave, Beanie Boos. She does well in school, is friendly … [Read more…]
Lamenting Silverbelle

It all seemed to happen so quickly. I knew something wasn’t right with you. First it just seemed like you were coughing up fur balls. Typical for a feline who constantly cleaned herself. Then something changed. The vomiting occurred every time you ate and for the most part lacked fur. This was not just typical … [Read more…]
A Letter To My Former Foster Son As You Turn 5

My Sweet Little Boy, I can hardly believe it has been a little over two years since you left our home. I can still remember your toddler-self walking in circles around the house. I can still hear your voice so vividly as I would come down the stairs in the morning, you pointing at me, … [Read more…]
I Support: My Response To Recent Events

I didn’t know what ‘white privilege’ was until I attended the Warrior Mom Conference in Boston, MA in July of 2015. I have been living in a suburban bubble for the last twenty plus years. Before that I grew up in the melting pot that is New York City. I had friends of all races, … [Read more…]
What My Daughter Knows

My daughter knows I hated her just two weeks after she was born. Pure hatred, where using the actual word ‘hate’ is valid and not taboo. She knows I wanted to leave her and never ever see her again. She knows I wanted to turn back time and never have her, completely obliterate her existence. … [Read more…]
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