The Guilt

I used to think I carried around this never ending guilty feeling because of the stereotype about Jewish moms and guilt.  I have thought about the guilt so much and have read enough articles concerning Depression lately to know that this guilt is not because I’m Jewish but in turn because I am Depressed.  This … [Read more…]

Turning My Life Into A Book

I should’ve titled this, “Petrified, In Need of Confidence”! Last year after one of my good friends published her first book I started to think about writing myself.  I had a remarkable talent for it when I was younger.  I was actually in Creative Writing Talent at my Junior High, had a poem published in … [Read more…]

“Happy” Me vs. The Real Me

I’ve just read this great blog entry from the Project Helping Founder and CEO.  Everything he wrote in it was so familiar it was absolutely scary. Here is the blog post.  I encourage you to read it: Running From Myself  http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/03/running-from-myself/ The premise of the blog post is the constant battle he had between his … [Read more…]

The Thinker

I’ve come to the realization that when suffering from Depression I become The Thinker.  My mind races between a million different thoughts… … Did I pack my lunch? What do I do if I didn’t?… … Did I pack Sophia’s lunch? Oh my god, what if I didn’t? What is she going to do?… … … [Read more…]

Admitting I’m Certifiably Crazy

My first hospital stay started November 16th, 2006, exactly one month after the birth of my daughter.  Although I needed to admit myself to short term psych it was extremely hard for me to come to the conclusion that I was being hospitalized in a psych ward… It was hard for me to realize that … [Read more…]

Mommy Is Not Going To Kill Herself

Recently Sophia has forced me to listen to a popular local radio station.  Normally, I enjoy what I call classic rock (or 80s rock which makes me feel old now that it’s called ‘classic’).  I gave in to her request being that her recital songs play on this station and I wanting to be a … [Read more…]

Less Of A Mother

I am a blessed mother of one, an only child.  She’s growing into such a young lady.  Sophia is kind, loving, strong willed and stubborn (like her mom). She’s also amazingly talented in the arts (my lefty!).  And at 5 she was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.  So yes, my beautiful daughter has issues.  She … [Read more…]

When the Joy Fades…

When my beautiful baby girl was born, I felt euphoric from the second I pushed her shoulders out.  I had never been so happy.  To know this little baby was all mine.  She was all I ever wanted since I was a child playing house with my dearest friend.  I would constantly pretend my Cabbage … [Read more…]