My Biggest Fear…

May is Mental and Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month… expect a lot of posts from me… My Biggest Fear… I have suffered from this horrible mental illness, Depression, for majority of my life.  Twenty-one years out of the thirty-five years I have been on Earth.  That’s a lot.  Thinking about it drains me.  Thinking about … [Read more…]

Physical Turmoil vs. Mental Turmoil

Baltimore, MD.  A beautiful city that I’ve been to many times.  It is also the scene of mass chaos currently.  Void of all facts, I’ll summarize the essentials.  A 25 year old black man was violently killed by a white cop, snapping his spine.  A brawl ensues of black rights vs. white rights which in … [Read more…]

My Daughter, My Wise Fairy

My husband and I went Team Green when I was pregnant back in 2006.  This meant that our child’s sex was unknown to us until birth and yes, we wanted it that way.  Yes, this also means we had quite a bit of clothing colored yellow and green.  We were very quick in chosing the … [Read more…]

Dependency

I do not like being dependent on a little pill.  I like being in control of everything.  I’m an Alpha personality, something I didn’t realize until in the hospital for Postpartum Depression.  I have perfection tendencies.  Both these things are extremely damaging to my psyche.  After Sophia was born, it took years in therapy to … [Read more…]

Under Your Spell

I’m having a rough day and am unsure why.  There has been no triggering factor.  I just woke up feeling undeserving of love, once again beating myself up.  It inspired a little poetry writing which has been dormant for over a decade Under Your Spellby: Stephanie Paige Fake smiles, forced grin,Hides the Depression within,Rapid breaths, … [Read more…]

I’m Okay, Really I Am… Am I?

I wasn’t planning on writing a blog post today as I’ve been okay, really I have.  At least, I think I have… My place of employment is having a food and diaper drive this month.  I thought this would be the perfect opportunity to finally get rid of all the diapers and toddler food we … [Read more…]

Triggers… And I Don’t Mean Guns

Triggers… We all have something in our lives that will cause stress, tension, anxiety… What happens when your biggest trigger are the people you love the most, your child(ren)?  What happens when looking at them makes you want to vomit?  What happens when even hearing them suffer from a cold makes you want to physically … [Read more…]